he was(delete)

Gus Van Sent/ Paranoid Park
Elephant
(Gerry)
(My Own Private Idaho)
(Last Days)

Richard Linklater/ Before Sunrise
Before Sunset

Rain Johnson/ Brick

Gregg Araki/ Mysterious Skin

Almodovar/ Bad Edocation

Sidney Lumet/ Dog Day Afternoon



評估這單子的性質毫無疑問是存在這裡的，但還是當作生存證明丟一份到pixnet去了。我真的很想嘗試無憂無慮窩在沙發中一部接著一部度日的生活。

標籤： 日記似的。

‘Welcome to China, Mr. Isaac. I will be your guide and interpreter in these days you stay here.’ That’s the age we first met. Though I wasn’t use to see Asian faces then, I could looked out how different between he and the other Chinese. While he talked to me, his almond eyes were narrow, so I wasn’t sure his eyes were black or not, maybe they just as brown as this guys stayed in Italy waiting for me finish the “holiday”. But I appreciate his eyesight, which I also didn’t like.
‘My name is Hu Xiaoying.’ said he, smiling. ‘You can call me Xiaoying.’
‘So… is there a Tiger Conservation Center?’ He drove me to our own mountain from public airport by himself. ‘On the surface, yes, it is. But we smuggle tigers and some other felines privately.’
We crossed many bridges in the way. Every time I looked down, there was always a dark river waiting for my eyes. Dark and dirty and turbid.
‘Tigers? It that a hot market? Johnson never tell me the business of China.’
‘As I guess, sir. This work is not that important in all our businesses. I think you team in center seldom hear about what we do, and Boss also seldom care about our work by himself.’
‘In this way you said, it sounds like I just come to the Orient Edge of Bloc, eh?’
‘May be right, Mr. Isaac.’ He smiled, again.


‘Can you show me the information of all your businesses here?’ the room for me there was not bad, nothing I wanted to nit-pick, except it was too smaller than the one in Italy. ‘Yes, Mr. Isaac. But I remember you are being on holiday, or I got wrong?’
‘Yep, maybe that is what they said. But go on holiday? Me? Don’t keep act like you didn’t know at all, Xiaoying, I don’t like to see you do so.’
‘Yes, Mr. Isaac. But it wasn’t Boss ask you to go to a holiday in our villa?’
‘John has known that I won’t just be on a holiday. Maybe he really wanted me to take a rest, however it wouldn’t be the only purpose. Anyway, I thought he neglect here too much, and so did he, probable. I think that is why he asked me to have a holiday here.’ I noticed everything was ready when I arrived here; the servants had arranged for my things, and Xiaoying gave me a tea, black tea, though I didn’t remember he ever went away from me.
‘I understood, sir, I will arrange. After your dinner. Which one you would like to try better? Chinese or Italian?’ I drank a little tea, thanks to its taste, I knew that the next time I should try something else, such as coke or coffee. ‘Humm…do you have American fast food?’
‘No, but we will get some before dinner time, of course.’
‘Well, if I were you, I will get more than ever. You had better remember this: I like to eat fast food recently. Oh, and this, I don’t like your manner of speaking.’
‘Yes, Mr. Isaac. I will improve.’ He smiling, as he always kept do so, quite unhurriedly. That’s was which I didn’t like, too.


‘Mr. Isaac, we can visit the Conservation Center first today, and the information is ready. Do you wand to see it right now?’ The next day, Xiaoying knocked my room door when I was eating the burger for breakfast, which was much better their black tea. However I didn’t like their working manner still, ‘cause people in Italy never let me wait for anything. But I thought that just because they couldn’t know who I am really clearly, as Xiaoying said, here just liked the Edge. ‘No, but put them on my office desk. I will see them later.’
‘Yes, Mr. Isaac.’
‘Oh, and why you said we will see the Conservation Center first, why not about the factory? I remember I told you I want to see factories today, didn’t I ?’
‘Yes, sir, you did. But I am afraid that we can’t visit factories that soon. There are some complicated procedures, you know, we should disguise ourselves as a legal organization on the surface. And I think if you want to know our work, Conservation Center is a start better than factories.’
I raised my eyebrows. You think, eh?
‘Fine. But how soon we can visit the factory? I won’t have a pretty long holiday as you may think.’
‘As soon as possible, sir.’
I heard he closed the door, they opened the air conditioners in those rooms for me, but I notice they didn’t do so for themselves. The monsoon of Asia, huh? I thought even though they do such things for me, I wouldn’t like Chinese still. Especially the kind which use to smiling with narrowed their almond eyes.


Sometimes I understood why I don’t like those Asian quiet distinctly, such the time I first saw the real Chinese chess. This age I was finding Xiaoying. That was a bad behavior they had the impudence to let me find my own interpreter by myself especially they weren’t have the conditioners in everywhere, maybe, I didn’t know what way is they use to serve for their chief, but anyhow, that was not my way, and I was the boss to everyone except Johnson so they should worked in this way I use to do, not theirs.
When I found him, he was playing the chess with other guy in his own place, which was very difficult to find out.
Didn’t need any explanation, he knew I was in a bad mood even I didn’t shout until then. ‘Ha, you are here, I just guess is everyone working outdoor, how a hard-working nation! So, what are you doing here while I was finding you form door to door? Playing a Chinese chess?’
‘I’m so sorry, Mr. Isaac, that’s our fault. If you don’t mind, the next time you want to find me, you can cell the switchboard in your room and they will ask me to meet you.’
‘Uh-huh, but next time I hope you will tell me about the phone first. Now that I ‘m here, so why don’t I see you play the game? I never see people play the real Chinese chess before.’ I sat down beside them, the other guy looked a little nervous about my appearance. I guessed I didn’t see him before then, but obviously, he knew me. ‘Don’t be afraid, I won’t eat you.’ Said I, smiling, to the guy.
‘Sorry sir, but he didn’t learn English so he can’t know what we are talking about.’ said Xiaoying.
‘That’s okay, you’re my interpreter, remember?’ I took the cap of coffee on the desk in front of me, his or the other’s, it doesn’t matter, I didn’t mind it, they didn’t have a conditioner in his room and I couldn’t stand any longer like kept to wait for my own cap.
‘Yes, sir. And, do I have this honour to play a game with you?’
‘Me? I didn’t ever play Chinese chess you known that, still more you have had a mate already, isn’t he?’
‘You mean he?’ smiled him, and I saw the guy looked more nervous like he could guess what we said. ‘He’s also not really good at playing Chinese chess, I just caught someone wasn’t working then at will. So, how about you? Everything has the first, Mr. Isaac.’
‘Well, maybe I can try. “Everything has the first”, good saying.’
I admitted that it was not a really difficult game, even I didn’t know what normality the game is, however I also couldn’t ask anyone because Xiaoying let go the guy before we started the game. When the game ended, he smiled: ‘Prove to be Mr. Isaac, the winner in the first try.’
‘You should known, the chess is not tougher than the western one. But I hope if it will be next time, you can be serious about playing with me.’
‘Oh? Why did you think I’m not serious, Mr. Isaac?’
‘Don’t take me for a fool, Xiaoying, I’m not, and so do you. And then, I just remembered I have told you I don’t like to see you acting, right?’
‘Yes, sir, I will remember it.’
‘You had better to do so. Now, just take me back to my room, I cannot bear to stay in the air anymore.’


Trust me, their Tiger Conservation Center would be the sickest scene you never ever seen before. Yeah, no one there was vomiting, but no one can feel well in there. Tigers lay down together, sleeping or be asleep. I didn’t know why the children could scream when they saw the tigers. A hare would be more horrible than those guys. And about they could keep operate, it really made me feel inconceivable.
‘Mr. Isaac, what you thinking about the center?’ The day we went there with the visitors, only Xiaoying and me, we had to dress as the visitor, he gave a foolish hat and sunglasses to me to block the sun.
‘Many big fat cats are lying together.’ Side I, ‘It looks so sick.’
‘Actually, that just what they are. They are the feline livestock.’
I stared at him behind the sunglasses, but he looked back at me smilingly, and I noticed his almond eyes in the sun would become brown, or just because the sunglasses? Whatever he was, I thought that was the secret they could keep live in the age. And, it also would be the one of the reasons I didn’t like Asia.
‘Okay, that’s enough.’ I took out the sunglasses, but his eyes didn’t go into black. ‘I want to go back.’
‘But you don’t see the feeding show yet.’ Even though he said as this, he took over the sunglasses, and turned the face back.
‘Well, I think your boss won’t anger with this. And I really wouldn’t like to see those guys eat anything. You don’t want me vomit right here. Do you?’
‘No, sir.’ said he, still smiling.


Those nights I stayed there were too sultry for me. Going there in summer was a fault, I knew, but because I stayed in the mountain so it wasn’t that bad, I sometime can went out still. The balcony of my room was big but there wasn’t any pretty scenery, at least in my eyes. However I liked there for the early-morning, and I always stood in balcony waiting my servants knock my door to wake me up. There was quite silent when the morning the sun just climbed the other side of mountain. Every sound whether it was loud or not would be very clearly in that time.
‘Wow, so surprising, John, call me in your working time?’
I rested on the railing holding the cell-phone between head and shoulder by the neck, and looked down the railing. Pretty green, but also boring.
‘Okay, I’m sorry I forgot to call you before this, but don’t kidding me, I has been apologetic. Forgive me. Alright, return from the digression, Isaac, did you have a good holiday there?’
‘Not really terrible as I guessed, but there is an impolite guy around me all the time.’
‘Oh, really?’
‘Yeah, he is my interpreter and guide. But it is not the point. I have seen their factories and the working report. You should came with me, do you know, I saw their tiger-bone medicated wines’ factory and Tiger Conservation Center. And guess what, they got the national burglarproof label of tiger-bone medicated wine.’
‘I’m not surprised, anyhow their center has passed the national authentication.’
‘Right, they really have the competent, my guide just told me China has joined the CITES since 1981, and the prohibition of exchanging the tigers’ bone issued in 1993. How a long time, isn’t? But they still have a hot market exchange the tigers. Fur, bone, meat… Chinese always surprise me.’
‘You know, in such country like China always has the best market.’
‘Uh-huh, so, do you want to finish here?’
‘Not yet, and according your saying, I think it will live for a long time.’
‘Well, they have this value. Then, can I come back tomorrow? And next time you need someone to go to the distant place work for me, don’t ask me again. Maybe you can ask Bob.’
‘OK. And for my apology to you, I will ask them to pick up you by our personal aircraft.’
‘Finally. I think I may forgive you.’ I hang up the cell-phone and went to answer the door. I was ready to tell these almond eyes I would like to say goodbye to them.




notes:
Hu Xiaoying=虎肖英
CITES=Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora 華盛頓公約

Finally, thanks for Cent provided the title.

標籤： 布幕之後。

Don't ask me why I always be out the rail as usual especially on the weekend. That's what you're good at, not me.
Don't try to censure me, just give me something useful, such as a really useful advice.
Humm... I know everything is too late. Two days, how can I do all this things in two days going to school?
But I have to try still, anyhow.
Because I'm not that well-behaved, am I, eh?

標籤： 日記似的。

The sunshine crossed the lattice and downed into his cover, where he hid and cried, there wasn't really dark enough for him to feel safe so he couldn't stop dropping the waters on his bed. But they wouldn't come here and see him. Wouldn't be so fast at least.
It was afternoon, the other children should all out the door playing at the grass or sitting at the tree shade. He covered up his eyes, the noise out to the lattice sounded too far and far, he couldn't be sure that they were in the same world still. Everybody were in the sunshine only I am not; I face away from the sun, I'm in the shadow. He thought, wiping the tears again and again.
However, he got wrong. There weren't only he boy in the shadow, the other one just closed the bedroom door. Very slowly and lightly. But he didn't saw him at all.

We can start a new life. Just you and me.
We can go somewhere no one else know and no one else will find out us taking us bake here. I know the way which can take us away here and they won't notice that before we get to the place million miles far. We will disappear like we evaporate in the sun. They won't catch us.
I promise.

It was late summer, and the weather wasn't start to be cool and everything was bright and vitality, almost everything. He lifted a hand to block sunlight and narrowed eyes when he walked up on the stairs. He didn't like summer. It always made him thought about his dad. The shining and bright hair, the shining and bright and foolish smiles of the shining and bright and foolish and best Dad, his father, his only family. They went to the seashore near their old house hand in hand every summer in the past when he was a kid. Dad always told him summer is the best season and it also is their season because they both be born in summer. But Dad also gone in summer.
Thus, he couldn't like summer any more. It brought the world to him but took them away too.
Therefore, everything happened in summer wouldn't be the good luck for him. He thought.
The door of president's office was near enough for him to touched.
He knocked, and trembled slightly.

Stretch out your hands, follow me.

"Don't be strained, we don't think that was you, we just want to know the reason."
"......but it wasn't me, sir."
"Oh, no no no, don't be that scared, my boy. You can tell me the truth, we will all forgive you. Won't we?"
"Yes, I know, sir, but it really wasn't me, I can't give you any reason."
"Oh, maybe you don't get the point. Look, boy, Mr. Taheri won't mind your little mistake at all, nothing will be change, such a kind man Mr. Taheri is. Isn't he, eh?"
"......"
"Okay, don't worry, I got it, you don't want to let him know that, right? Maybe we can tell nothing to him, sure, we can. Now, you just give a reason to me. Was it about your school, eh? But Mr. Taheri is a millioniar, he can takes you to any school you want, and he will, I am sure. Maybe you didn't really know that. I know. It wasn't all your fault. I really understand......"
No, you don't. He shouted in mind and nearly crying. But he only could keep silent.
No one would got a good result they wanted in this meeting, he knew, and so did the other shadow-boy. Thus, he just waited, waited behind the office wall.

Please, please follow me. We can ran away from all.
Trust me.

He walked on the wooded path in the manor, this asylum might be the holding of landlord who had the rank in the past, whatever, they owned a pretty garden with the same-like wooded path. He walked, and saw some leaves' edge were getting faded. For goodness' sake, they are being dead, and summer may be died down, too. He thought, while the wind was blowing across the woods. He felt he sky was quite clear and sunshine was really genial.
Did it sign the summer is gone, did it sign everything is go away, and did it sign the bad luck will be end?
He asked in mind and narrowed eyes, under the sun.

"So, got the answer, eh?" the Shadow Boy went up to him from the hide of the trees when he went back. It looked like he had been waited for him there.
He nodded. "Maybe you're right. I cannot stay here any more."
"You, and me. We both can't stay here, no one should be held by them, especially we." said that boy.
"So, when will we go away, as you promised?"
"Now," said Shadow Boy, smiling. "as I promise."

Maybe it meant the autumn, the new start.
He thought, when they crossed the gate of the asylum, to the new life, with his new family.



100-48

New words cover the old idea, right?

標籤： 布幕之後。

Everything I look now is carzy. It's very difficult to typeing my feeling into words. I need to calm down, just now.
Okay. Maybe I should explain what the situation being now, but I am unable to do so. That isn't the circumstances I want to see, it should be more rational more clear more order as I thought, even thougt it has been so.

I must try again tomorrow.
More rational more clear and more order.

標籤： 日記似的。

標籤： 日記似的。

That's a panic about be helpless of the own numb.

I had been hurt by a fall, I had keeled myself over, I had a experience be out of control in the public space.

For a time I hope someone could find me and tell me which way I should go, but I'm not such foolish now. The place that is injured has formed a scar, the place that is rubing also had the callus.
So even I am still afraid, I knew it never can be a fairy tale.

標籤： 日記似的。

I have known what is true before they came up to me.
I couldn't change them, although I have uaed to tell the stories to everyone even myself disguising the truths as I dreaming of. I knew, no one would be deceived by me, but I couldn't stop doing so.

I hope I can be the actor who I wanna be.

標籤： 日記似的。

act.1
他按著傷口跌跌撞撞地從門外走進來，而你只是坐在地上看著這一幕。 那雙大眼睛發現你之後瞪地更加渾圓突出，然後猛地低頭，儘量用最快的速度一瘸一瘸地跑進房間裡。你一點也不意外。羞恥，憤怒，恐懼，你看著他佈滿血絲的眼睛、淌血的嘴角、瘀腫的眼框、因為拉扯而變形的衣袖、從領口露出一片擦傷的鎖骨，它們用盡一切在向你敘述究竟是什麼樣的事情在你視野觸及不到的地方發生了。也許，你心不在焉地想著，他連自己的事情也知道了。──那麼他一定會更加討厭自己吧。

act.2
你看著他從那條晦暗的巷子中走出來，不就前洗劫來的東西全都自手心消失了。那的確是個藏匿人的好地點，早該想到了，你自我檢討著。但，「你不覺得我們家的地下室會更安全嗎？」你問到。不出所料，他滿臉猙獰驚訝地看向你，好一會兒才擠出了一句：「媽媽不回答應的，那傢伙也是。」你點頭表示了解。但實際上你覺得以他的能力而言，要說服他們甚至直接偷渡肯定都不是問題。「還有，」離開前他向你這麼補充道，滿臉警戒，那雙眼睛看起來惡狠狠又小心翼翼。「你不要再來這裡了。」說完，下一秒他便隱沒進另一條暗巷不見蹤影。

act.3
你一開始並不打算窺探任何事，那是因為他和那個人實在太大意了，這麼大剌剌地出現在街道上。不得不承認，這回你真的有些驚訝了。自從他那天傷痕累累的逃回家後你以為往後大概不可能再遇上這種情形了，但你估錯了。
你開始好奇那傢伙的來頭。

act.4
你在那裡等待著，那個傢伙果真如願出現。 確實，打架並非你的強項，但是只要掌握技巧加上適度的勁道，成果不容小覷。可你似乎只要碰上有關他的事情失算率就會提高。對方再怎麼說也不是路邊混混的等級。他就在你被打到重心不穩的那一刻出現。他的出現阻止了後續的可能發展，你捕捉到了他臉上一閃而逝的訝異，但接著是他濃縮了不解和戒備的神情。「別管他了，我們走吧。」他說那句的時候眼神是停留在你身上，不過最後他終究一句話也沒對你說。你無法移動四肢，只好闔上雙眼聽著他們離開的腳步聲。

他走了。(接著你回想起，或許你早就料到了這天終將會到來。)

標籤： 布幕之後。